How OCD works, Part1

If you read the post ”Awesome blog award” you might have read one of my facts where I explain that I have the diagnose ”obsessive complusive disorder”. In Swedish it’s called Tvångssyndrom. I recently read that 2% of the population have ocd, and since i’ve been struggling with it alot lately I wanted to write a post about it.

To explain it simply: Sometimes my brain gets stuck on very unpleasant thoughts and I have a problem getting them out of my mind. Except just getting ”stuck” on the unpleasant thought my mind also likes to question and challenge me alot. It tells me the opposite of what I feel and want.

The problems this causes is that I some days can spend hours trying to fight away unpleasant thoughts, causing me alot of anxiety and stress. Imagine one thing that you loove, and think ”I love _ _ _ _” . Now imagine you getting an impulsive thought telling you ”Are you sure you do?”, ”I dont think you do..”.
Your reaction would be: ”..eeuhm, yeah I do”, but your mind keeps going, ”euhm, no you dont”. See the problematics? :] Well, to explain more on how the OCD might work I tried doing it in the best way i know, through sketches :].

Here is the How OCD works series, [Part 1] ^^:

Keiko had for the last 2 months been dating a girl from his class called Mira..

One day when they went out for a walk an ugly monster planted a horrible thought in Keikos mind..

Keiko didnt know what to do of this thought, how can you differentiate different types of joy?.. :/

Keiko started thinking that the ugly monster might be right.. but he certainly didnt want it to be true..

Keiko started thinking that maybe their common interests really werent enough for a relationship..

The ugly monster had succeeded to manipulate Keikos perception to the extent were Keiko wasnt sure about anything anymore

Ofcourse Mira didnt look like that at all, but Keiko just couldnt see her the way he used to anymore

Feeling confused and sadened Keiko couldnt bare to face Mira. The situation had changed, nothing felt right anymore.